Simply lovely

How moving a ceremony can be when a couple do what they want, not what they think they ought. Joe and Tasha’s simple, but touching humanist ceremony took place at the London Wetland Centre in a gorgeous fisherman’s hut, made even more cosy with fairy lights.After the ceremony I arranged a confetti shower and we cracked open the bubbly soon after. Simply lovely.

fisherman’s hut at the wetland centre

humanist wedding ceremony at London Wetland Centre

humanist wedding ceremony at London Wetland Centre

 

 

Children as ring-bearers in humanist wedding ceremonies

 

Photo by Allister Freeman

 

Where family is very important to you loved ones can be given a role to perform in the ceremony; where they are young children an obvious role is that of ring-bearer. This happy couple’s nephews are only five but carried out their ring-bearing duties to perfection, while looking adorable.

Another formality frequently included in humanist wedding ceremonies is signing a BHA certificate of marriage. This isn’t a legally-recognised document but it does give your guests a chance to take some photos and listen to music. As this photo shows, it’s also a moment when you can relax with your witnesses.

Photo by Allister Freeman

 

All photographs copyright Allister Freeman.
Wedding took place at Bookham Manor House School, Little Bookham, Surrey

Under a canopy of trees: humanist wedding ceremony at Ridge Farm

Photo by Andrew Dobell

On a warm, sunny day in September the orchard at Ridge Farm provided a quite beautiful setting for this outdoor humanist wedding ceremony.
(Ridge Farm, Rusper, Surrey)

David and Amanda signed the register the day before at their local registry office, and the formal nuptials took place the following day when all their loved ones witnessed their deeply personal humanist wedding ceremony.

Thank you to the happy couple for kind permission to reproduce these photographs. All photographs copyright Andrew Dobell.

Photo by Andrew Dobell

Photo by Andrew Dobell

Photo by Andrew Dobell

Photo by Andrew Dobell

A day in the life of a BHA wedding celebrant

Published in BHA news, issue 3 2012

Inspiring couples to individualize their wedding ceremony, explaining what humanism is, promoting the BHA: all these are at the heart of what wedding celebrants do. Quelling nerves, mopping brows and stemming tears are also key. Accepting compliments and criticism, sharing ideas with colleagues and learning to turn down a second glass of bubbly at the wedding are also part of the job. Meeting prospective couples and working closely with them to incorporate their own ideas and thoughts into the ceremony are what set us apart. We write original, deeply personal scripts that testify to the love each couple have for each other, and which celebrate romance and commitment. At rehearsals we spot potential pit-falls at a hundred paces. On the day of a wedding ceremony we dress smartly, pack our bags, and leave for the ceremony knowing that everything‘s perfectly prepared, but that we’re entirely prepared if it isn’t.

Thank you to Hugh and Fleur for kind permission to publish this photograph.

The best of both worlds

If a venue can offer a choice between holding your wedding ceremony inside or outside, at relatively short notice, it’s so useful. You then have the best of both worlds.

I’ve led humanist ceremonies at two such venues this summer.

As well as offering its cosy, welcoming barn Swallows Oast in Kent has an enchanting woodland clearing outside, very close to all the barn’s amenities. This ceremony featured on Love My Dress blog. (Also see a photo of inside the barn)

Ghyll Manor in Surrey is also happy to accommodate couples inside or outside given a bit of notice.

Thank you to newlyweds Claire and Dave and their photographer Eddie Judd for kind permission to publish this photo.

“We chose a humanist ceremony, partly because we weren’t able to have a legal ceremony outside, but mainly because we realised that a  humanist sentiment reflected exactly what we wanted for our big day.  We really enjoyed the process of constructing our own ceremony with our  Humanist celebrant Ginny Collins.  The ceremony was very personal, and  reflected Dave and I so well, together with Ginny we wrote our own vows, and the ceremony told our story and how we see marriage, what we love  about each other, with plenty of laughs along the way.  Our guests  commented on how lovely and unique the ceremony was.

We married legally a couple of days before at Brighton registry office  witnessed by my Dad and Dave’s Mum only (we didn’t want to have two wedding days!), followed by a curry lunch and a beer!”

Humanist wedding at Pangdean Barn

Thank you to newlyweds Rachel and Dan, and their superb photographer James Hedley, for permission to use these photographs.

Their humanist wedding ceremony was held at Pangdean Barn, 5 miles north of Brighton, on a glorious spring day.

Wishing you both every possible happiness.

I (still) do: vow renewal ceremony at Wiston House, West Sussex

Vow renewal ceremonies aren’t common, but they do take place – in living rooms and country houses, on special anniversaries or any day of the week, in public, in private. I suspect many couples would like one themselves yet harbour reservations they can’t quite qualify.

Why? Feel it’s too grand a statement? That your continuing love and commitment can be taken as read?

To reminisce, publicly, on a year or a half-century spent loving someone, and to say that you have loved and still do love them – could this not be a natural step for us all? The point at which, having come safely home, we depart together again?

[Thank you to David and Valerie for allowing me to lead their renewal of vows ceremony at Wiston House on their 40th anniversary, and for inspiring this post.]

Food for thought: humanist naming ceremony over lunch in a restaurant

People don’t often hold humanist ceremonies in restaurants, though there’s no reason why not to. Today I led a baby naming at Julie’s Restaurant & Bar in Holland Park, a quirky venue which can host large gatherings in its beautifully decorated ‘party rooms’. Of course, it also serves food. And this made me think about the coupling of food with speeches, and why we humans respond so appreciatively to it.

Is it simply that it’s thoughtful to feed someone while asking them to listen to a speech? Perhaps we’re just in a better mood when being fed. Whatever the reason, a speech – a ceremony – in which everyone participates in the singular act of honouring a child, provides a wonderful start to any meal. And it’s more nourishing than a breadstick, I think.

New Year’s Eve humanist wedding nuptials

Celebrate your wedding on one of the most celebrated nights of the year. Sounds sensible, but convention dictates that we avoid choosing key dates for our nuptials. Why?

A marriage rite performed as one year ends and another begins is a demonstration of hope for the future. It is also very romantic. Add universal good will, your closest friends, dearest loved ones, and you have the makings of a very happy new year’s eve indeed.

There are 365 days in the year in which to marry. Reclaim them! Congratulations to Brian and Jane, my New Year newlyweds, who did exactly that.

(Humanist wedding ceremony held on New Year’s Eve at Woodlands Park Hotel in Surrey).

Marrying after dark: a very private humanist wedding ceremony in the evening

One of the things I love about my job is witnessing bride and grooms throw out the rule book and just do things their own way.

But often this happens accidentally, as a solution to a logistical problem. And yet whenever this is the case, the couple soon realise that the ‘solution’ is in fact giving them exactly what they wanted. In this groom’s case, being a high-profile footballer, unable to take time off training during the day, and in need of privacy from paparazzi, posed a problem. How to hold a wedding in the evening, since our marriage laws forbid civil ceremonies to take place out of daylight hours?  The solution: a humanist ceremony in the evening. The result? A ceremony that will last long in people’s memories.

(This humanist wedding ceremony was held at 5pm in a very private room at RSA House in London WC2.)